Groupies = Ratings!

PBA Message Board member Katman2000 hits the nail on the head when opening up this post:

http://forum.pba.com/ultimatebb.cgi?/ubb/get_topic/f/1/t/005375.html

Which asks the question: “Are there any hot groupie girls active on the PBA Tour?”

This is fundamentally important, as it’s the third most important and sought after thing in organized sports. When a young man (who’s hit puberty) starts dreaming about becoming a sports star, he thinks of three things:

1. Money
2. Fame
3. Girls

If the PBA tour had some high-quality groupies that hit on PBA players, the PBA would see a drastic surge in attendance, sales, participation, and off-the-lane scandals.  That’s it, that’s what they need, an off-the-lane scandal, like when Brian Kretzer had his hit & run incident during the 2005 US Open that the PBA desperately kept under wraps.  (As of today I have 15 Subscribers to this blog, so the word is out now suckers!). We need someone like Tommy Jones or Sean Rash or even Mike Machuga to bang a hot groupie, and possibly impregnate them.

I mean, this IS your grass-roots program. Throw money around like Pacman Jones makes it rain, get hot women knocked up, which leads to notoriety (or being notorious, either way it’s better than what you have now). I love this idea.  There should be at least 1 story of a player fucking a groupie chick on the road during every event of the season, without fail. 

Extra PBA season points if the PBA player is married, and double points if he has kids. Make that triple the points if the wife finds out, causing a domestic dispute involving the police. If a player knocks one of them up and needs to hold a press conference with his wife, apologizing to the world about it, then that player is exempt next season.

Now the question becomes “How do you get hot sluts inside of a bowling alley?” A valid question, but answered easily: Pay Them. Pay some hot chicks to not only sit front row during a telecast, pay them to do whatever they have to do to get a National Touring Player to knock them up. Then, the PBA’s marketing department needs to blow it up all over the internet.

Let’s go PBA, make it happen – this is your best grass-roots program!

Subscribe to Re-Organize Bowling!