Voss is not Boss.

I keep hearing a lot of talk about everyone wanting Brian Voss to become the next commissioner of the USBC.

 Uhhhh…..WHAT?

Brian Voss is quite possibly the worst possible candidate to be USBC commissioner.  First of all, what type of leadership experience does he have?  “Well he was in the military”, some of you may say.  That’s not enough. 

But second, and most important, he has dug himself a large hole as being far too controversial to even seriously warrant consideration for holding “the high chair”. Controversy, ridiculous comments, unfounded conspiracy theories, and the like are best left to people such as myself and Larry Litchstein. You simply cannot post on the PBA message board, petitioning to “ban” all reactive resin / particle bowling balls.  That’s not your place (if you want to be commissioner).  You also can’t wag your finger at the camera with your mug right in front of it saying “Ban sanded bowling balls” (not a direct quote, but something to that effect vs. Chris Loschetter in the PBA World Championship a few years ago).

To be a commissioner, you need to be fair, diplomatic, and never, EVER, lose your cool, even before you are commissioner (years before). Brian Voss is 0-3 here. I also think he’s unprofessional.  You don’t like the way things are going?  Bite your fucking tongue, or take matters up behind closed doors. You know exactly what you are doing by making comments into the camera and posting on the PBA message board. On another personal note, I think you got exactly what you deserved – losing your exemption, and it was sweet how it happened, too.

Let’s wake up people – Brian Voss is NOT a good candidate for any executive position in bowling. But go ahead, promote / hire him, I’ll have mountains of new stuff to bitch about

Subscribe to Re-Organize Bowling!

Groupies = Ratings!

PBA Message Board member Katman2000 hits the nail on the head when opening up this post:

http://forum.pba.com/ultimatebb.cgi?/ubb/get_topic/f/1/t/005375.html

Which asks the question: “Are there any hot groupie girls active on the PBA Tour?”

This is fundamentally important, as it’s the third most important and sought after thing in organized sports. When a young man (who’s hit puberty) starts dreaming about becoming a sports star, he thinks of three things:

1. Money
2. Fame
3. Girls

If the PBA tour had some high-quality groupies that hit on PBA players, the PBA would see a drastic surge in attendance, sales, participation, and off-the-lane scandals.  That’s it, that’s what they need, an off-the-lane scandal, like when Brian Kretzer had his hit & run incident during the 2005 US Open that the PBA desperately kept under wraps.  (As of today I have 15 Subscribers to this blog, so the word is out now suckers!). We need someone like Tommy Jones or Sean Rash or even Mike Machuga to bang a hot groupie, and possibly impregnate them.

I mean, this IS your grass-roots program. Throw money around like Pacman Jones makes it rain, get hot women knocked up, which leads to notoriety (or being notorious, either way it’s better than what you have now). I love this idea.  There should be at least 1 story of a player fucking a groupie chick on the road during every event of the season, without fail. 

Extra PBA season points if the PBA player is married, and double points if he has kids. Make that triple the points if the wife finds out, causing a domestic dispute involving the police. If a player knocks one of them up and needs to hold a press conference with his wife, apologizing to the world about it, then that player is exempt next season.

Now the question becomes “How do you get hot sluts inside of a bowling alley?” A valid question, but answered easily: Pay Them. Pay some hot chicks to not only sit front row during a telecast, pay them to do whatever they have to do to get a National Touring Player to knock them up. Then, the PBA’s marketing department needs to blow it up all over the internet.

Let’s go PBA, make it happen – this is your best grass-roots program!

Subscribe to Re-Organize Bowling!

So who’s left? A look, “exbowler” style

So now that Dalkin, Broyles, and Kuhn are all GONE (what the hell took you people $$$00000 long?), I asked myself “who’s left?”. 

Let’s take a look at the list, found here:

http://www.bowl.com/aboutUSBC/board.aspx

And no, I didn’t spend hours doing research about each person.  This is my blog, I do what I want to. If I know or see anything about each of these person’s bios, i’m going to comment on it. If not, i’ll probably comment on it anyways.

Jeff Boje
President, Chairman of the Board
Comments: He’s a former CPA. I also don’t get the thought of “he’s a good ‘ol boy” like i did whenever I looked at Dalkin’s mug, so maybe there’s some hope.  But, you never know, and on this blog, you don’t get the benefit of the doubt.

Darlene Baker
Vice President
Comments: She looks like someone I used to bowl with. Maybe I did, who knows. She’s a former director of finance and administration, which makes the 2nd top executive now who is supposed to be good with money. This is either great news for every USBC member, or prepare to be nickel and dimed to death.

Tamoria Adams
Director
Comments: Ehhh…i’m not too confident here. She has an ambiguous title, and she doesn’t seem to have done anything else that didn’t involve Charlotte, North Carolina. What exactly is she supposed to do?

Gary Anderson
Director
Comments: Again with these directors!  And again, a financial (tax) expert.  So they have their CPA, their economics / finances expert, and a tax expert.  Either the USBC’s financial portfolio will rise from the ashes, or in 2 years they’ll all be indicted in a large money-laundering fraud.

Diandra Asbaty
Director
Comments: Ok, i KNOW you don’t do shit. But you’re by far the hottest and prettiest of the group, so stick around, will ya? Post your email address on my blog too if you don’t mind. I promise you i’m actually one of the good guys.

Tommy Lee Baxter
Director
Comments: The never-ending list of directors who probably don’t do jack continues with a guy named Tommy Lee.  Do I really have to go into an explanation?

Andrew Cain
Director
Comments: Check his ID! Anyone young enough to still be in college should not be the director of anything but getting drunk.  But hey, props to you…dude…

The rest of this list of people is filled with “Director…Director…Director…Past Director…” and so on.  It’s also filled with horrible headshot photos.  I would have personally paid the USBC to have hired a competent photographer for this. Can you at least “photoshop” Dorin-Ballards eyes?  Jesus Christ…

Subscribe to Re-Organize Bowling!

Roseann Kuhn Hangs it up!

They’re dropping like flies!! YES!!!

http://www.bowl.com/articleView.aspx?i=13377&f=1

This is awesome.  Last month Dalkin, two days ago Broyles, and now Kuhn! 

Wow…maybe I don’t even need to have this blog anymore, as soon as I start posting, USBC old farts start retiring!  Maybe they just don’t want to face my e-wrath?

Again everyone, congratulations.  The old guard is finally leaving after years and years of misery.  The USBC now has a chance at survival…unless they promote more inept old people to replace them – let’s hope that doesn’t happen.

Subscribe to Re-Organize Bowling!

I really hate Jan Schmidt.

You will notice that throughout this blog that I will very rarely talk about players or fans.  But i will talk about executives, announcers, and management.  A lot.

You will also learn that i hate Jan Schmidt, quite possibly the worst bowling executive of all-time.  She was the Marketing Director for the PWBA.  Here’s a summary of what she did during her tenure:

1. Nothing.
2. There was a PWBA event right down the street from me during her reign of ineptitude and I didn’t even know about it – AND I was in the bowling industry at the time.

For a lack of a more verbose explanation, she bothers the shit out of me.  She also bothers me as an announcer – I can’t take it when she shoves the word “ATHLETE” down my throat repeatedly. Yes, Jan, I get it, I understand your stance on whether bowlers are athletes or not, stop fucking up the telecast with it.

Then, because apparently getting a job as a USBC executive is about who you know and who you’re networked with, and not how qualified or good you are, she gets appointed to be USBC’s marketing director when the USBC first formed.  WHAT THE HELL are you people thinking? Oh I know, you’re not thinking, otherwise you would have sent her packing.

Memo to all bowling organizations: Stop using Jan Schmidt for anything other than a doormat.

Subscribe to Re-Organize Bowling!

1st Post, 2nd USBC Executive Retires!

For my first ever post, I am celebrating the fact that another USBC Executive, Sylvia Broyles, has retired:

http://www.bowl.com/articleView.aspx?i=13374&f=1

 To you Sylvia, I say GOOD Riddance. You and Roger Dalkin can move down here to Boca Raton, or as some of us like to call it, “God’s Waiting Room”.

 I have several opinions. Please read them all.

Subscribe to Re-Organize Bowling!